Working My Way To You
by Stargate-Lover-Steph
Summary: A collection of drabbles all about Sam and Jack in different settings and scenario's. There's a bit of everything in here, from hurt, comfort and romance to good old fashioned snuggling.
1. Chapter 1

**AN - Let's start with hey all. Welcome to my ramblings, or more accurately my SG-1 drabbles collection. These are all song based drabbles as you will see when you get passed my waffle. This is the first time I have ever done this for any pairing I have written, especially a new one that I am still finding my feet with. There should be about twenty-eight of these if my brain doesn't give out on me, or go off on a random writing spree. Anyway, enough of me and on with the actual writing.**

* * *

 **"Does he love you like I loved you, does he tell you every day.**

 **Does he make you feel like you're invincible with every word he'll say,**

 **Can you promise me if this was right, don't throw it all away.**

 **Can you do all these things, will you do all the things, like we used to."**

 **"Like We Used To." by A Rocket To The Moon.**

"You don't get to call me that unless you actually marry my daughter," Sam remembered her father saying as he looked at the man she was marrying.

How did Jacob know the man would never be in a position to do that? As she watched his ashes being placed within her mother's grave she stood wondering over all the differences between Pete and Jack. They both loved her and she loved them, but differently. With Pete it was a love for the normal, the not nine till five, having something that wasn't work related. Yet with Jack, it was so much more. It was a love forged over the years, though blood, sweat and tears. A love that needed no words, no thinking, no effort.

A love that was held at arm's length for as long as she could remember. There were the team nights when the guard dropped a little. When one or the other was wounded, dying even. It was when one or the other was at their weakest that the other would show that spark, that tiny glimmer of hope in what could be. Turning and walking back to the car she felt his eyes on her, just out of sight but always there. As Mark kissed her cheek she caught a glimpse of him, his presence giving her the strength she needed to carry on.

After showering and changing she curled up on the couch, staring at the pictures above the fire. Cassie, Janet and her mother smiled down at her from their frames. Mark and his family posing from another frame. It was the other pictures that caught her gaze. Pictures of her 'boys'. Daniel, Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill as he was then looked down at her from another picture. A team night at her house full of pizza, beer and tears. The next picture was a team picture, her arms around Daniel's shoulder and Jack's waist. Her head finding its place on Jack's shoulder as they smiled at Cassie while she took the picture. There were no pictures anywhere of Pete.

Finally was the picture that she had spent the best part of an hour looking at. Jacob Carter smiled down at his daughter. The picture was taken a few weeks after he had become a Tok'ra. After blaming him for years for things going wrong she had been given four wonderful years with him, a second chance to know her father and neither of them had wasted it.

Her father had known when he meet Pete he wasn't right for her. Her dad had already picked the man he knew she would end up with. Her father and seen that before she had.

"Don't let the rules and regulations stand in the way of you being happy." He had told her just before he died.

Looking at the picture she knew what she had to do. She had to be with the only man who had earned the right to call him Dad.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- Thank you so much to everyone for your support, reviews and follows. It means a great deal to have such interest. You are all amazing. Here is chapter two, enjoy.**

* * *

 **"All of the words in all of my life,**

 **That could never explain and never describe.**

 **All of my love which is nothing to hide,**

 **I lift up my hands and I worship."**

 **"All Of The Words." by Kutless.**

Sitting in the darkened corner of the infirmary his eyes were mere slits, sleep tugging at him but his mind refusing to give up. He could see and hear the machines beeping around the bed but was more focused on the woman in it. He could just make out the steady rise and fall of her chest with each breath she took. This was not the first time he had sat in this chair, it would probably not be the last. Doing what they did every day it was lucky neither had been killed. Rubbing a hand over his face, he sat up a little straighter and shifted around in the chair.

"You still here?" He heard from his side, not having to look to see who had spoken.

"Nowhere else to be," He said, his voice coming out hoarse and broken after sitting in silence for so long.

"Why don't you go get a couple of hours sleep. You know the Doc will wake you if there's any change." His friend said as he stopped at his side.

"No, I belong here. This is my fault, I just need to make sure she's okay." Standing from the chair and looking at Daniel and then sleeping woman in the bed.

"This is not your fault, you know that deep down. You did what had to be done to protect us all. She knows that too, and will be happy to point that out when she wakes up." Clapping Jack on the back as he tried to offer some reassurance.

"If you say so. Why aren't you sleeping anyway? Too much coffee I take it." Finally getting a good look at Daniel's face.

"Something like that. If anything changes," Not having to finish the sentence as he turned to leave his friend on his bedside vigil.

Watching Daniel leave he was just about to take a seat when he saw the doctor enter and start checking over the still woman and the machines around her. Walking slowly over he stopped on the other side of the bed and watched as she wrote on the chart and checked over a few things.

"Before you ask everything looks fine. No, I don't know when she will wake up only that she will." The doctor told him as she put the chart at the foot of the bed and turned to leave. "Maybe you should get some rest as well." Turning to look at Jack as he pulled up a chair beside the bed and sat down.

Sitting down, he glanced around the room before moving the chair as close to the bed as he could and taking the woman's hand in his. Placing a kiss on the back of her hand, he settled his head on the bed and turned so he could see her face.

"Wake up for me Sam." Squeezing her hand as he closed his eyes and joined her in slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

**"Well, I'm going home, to the place where I belong.**

 **And where your love has always been enough for me.**

 **I'm not running from, no I think you got me all wrong,**

 **I don't regret this life I chose for me.**

 **But these faces and these places are getting old,**

 **So I'm going home."**

 **"Home." by Daughtry.**

* * *

Sitting at the desk, he looked around the office and sighed. It was too noisy here. Even several stories up the hustle and bustle of the city below reached his well-trained ears. He could make out cars and buses, shop vendors shouting, dogs barking. Pushing his chair back, he moved to the window and looked down on the multitude of colours. The city was a sea of reds, blues, yellows and blacks. Constant movement and people going about their daily lives unaware of the importance of what he did to keep them all safe.

Looking at his watch, he saw he still had a few hours to go till he could appropriately slip away and hide in the relative peace of his house. Turning and looking at the pile of files on his desk he groaned loudly. He needed to return to his roots, to silence and solitude and faces he knew. Scrubbing his face with his hand, he walked back to his desk and picked the phone up. A few calls later he had his clearance to go. It took some wrangling and a few strings pulling but his flight was booked.

He thought about phoning ahead and letting her know but decided against it, the surprise on her face would be worth the wait. The drive to the airport was quick and the plane was fueled and ready on the Tarmac. Sitting on the plane, he lay his head back against the green netting and closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths as he pictured her face. He couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. He had missed her so much the past few months, calls and the odd video call were not enough. He needed to see her face close up, the way her eyes sparkled in the light, how the stars reflected in her eyes as she lay at his side on the decking looking at the sky. To feel her breath on his neck as the sun cracked through the blinds and bathed their bedroom in sunlight. Just to hold her and kiss that spot on her neck just below her ear that made her melt further into his arms.

The drive home from the airport was quick as the roads were empty. Pulling up at their house he looked at the darkened house and smiled. The light was on in the bedroom window but the rest of the house was in darkness. Taking his bag from the cab he made his way to the door and opened it quietly. Leaving his bag and coat in the hallway, he tiptoed through the house to his bedroom. The sight of her had him mesmerised. She had fallen asleep with the lamp on, her head on his pillow. Shedding his clothes he climbed in behind her and pulled her into his arms. As she turned over and mumbled something to him he kissed her lips lightly, he was home.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN-This is my first angsty one. I don't normally do these as I normally suck at them. I much prefer the happy ever after ones. As I have said these came in randomly so my next one may be a happy one, who knows. So on the with the show, and as always I hope you like it.**

* * *

 **"I can't be everywhere for everyone all the time.**

 **If I could I would fix this whole world.**

 **All I ask of you, never compromise.**

 **Never let the leeches try to suck out your soul."**

 **"Degenerate." by New Found Glory.**

* * *

As the acid hit his chest he felt the pain, the burn, the agony as it burned deeper into his chest. This was again the killer blow. The one that would end it all, until next time. The difference being next time there would be a little piece more missing, another piece of him gone to the regeneration process. He had stopped counting now, stopped wanting to remember how many times he had been through the process. With every cycle, he remembered more but forgot more. He knew why he was there but he could never say why and never give in.

His companions help was appreciated, no matter how useless his help was. He was there, in his darkest hour when no one else was. Sleep wasn't needed, food wasn't needed, nothing was really needed in that cell. Each time the darkness engulfed him a small part of him never wanted to wake up, never wanted to relive what he was going through. Yet there was a part that knew he had to go on, there was more than just his life at stake. It was in the darkness when he saw her, saw her face, her eyes, her smile. It was then he wanted nothing more than to bust out and go home. Go back to who he was, return to what he had left behind.

Their enemies were still out there, still trying to bend the universe to their own will. He needed to fight, needed to return to the battle. He could not, would not give up. They were coming for him, he would go home and he would see her again. He would go back into the battle side by side with her to rid the world of the parasites who were trying to take away everything that was important to him. That was the reason to go on, their freedom and his future with her, not just by his side in battle but by his side in life.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN- Back to happy again, sort of.**

* * *

 **"Cause she's bittersweet, she knocks me off of my feet,**

 **And I can't help myself, I don't want anyone else.**

 **She's a mystery, she's too much for me,**

 **And I keep coming back for more.**

 **She's just the girl I'm looking for."**

 **"Just The Girl." by The Click Five.**

* * *

As he watched Kerry walk away he knew it was for the best. Yes they had fun, and they were good together but it just wasn't right. How had she termed it again?

"You have issues. It's okay we all have them but, there's just one that I don't think I can Love, I mean live with."

She was right of course, he only had one issue, and Kerry being as smart as she was knew what, or move so who, the issue was.

"I have just one question. Is the Air Force the only thing keeping you two apart? Because if it is you're making a big mistake." Talk about nail on the head and driving the point home.

Kerry suggestion, of course, was retirement. Sweet retirement with no calls, no crisis, no Gou'ld or replicators. If only life could be that simple. He would happily hand in his retirement papers that had been sitting in the bottom drawer of his desk since what felt like forever. All they needed was signed and dated and they were done. He could call the president and tell him he was done, fax the papers over and just walk away. He could go find Carter and, oh crap, Carter!

Nearly running through the corridors, he stopped at the observation room and saw her sitting there, looking down at her father. His heart ached as he watched her. Stepping inside, he sat down next to her and looked down at Jacob Carter before glancing at Carter. Her eyes were red and puffy and when she spoke he heard the croak in her voice from her tears. He so desperately wanted to scream sod it and pull her to him, hold her close and never let go. Yet he couldn't, wouldn't, do it no matter how much it hurt him.

"Com'mere," He mumbled as he lifted his arm and watched as she slid up against his side.

Wrapping his arm around her, he rested his hand on her shoulder and felt the pang of longing as she took his hand in hers and rubbed it against her cheek before running her thumb over the back of his hand.

"Thank you, Sir." He heard her say as he looked down at her father.

"For what?" He whispered, a little surprised she was thanking him.

"For being here for me," She replied.

His heart was at breaking point. She was sat watching her father die and she was thanking him for being there. He wouldn't be anywhere else in the world but at her side, didn't she know that? Turning to look back at her he said the first word he thought of.

"Always."

Seeing her turn to him, her lips turning into a small smile at the realisation of what that single word meant. They understood there was nothing either could do about it yet. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze she brushed it against her cheek one last time. Always meaning 'I Love you'.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN-This I blame a little on a line in SGU, Season 1, episode 19. Sam mentions to Jack the crew she's lost and Jack says "Sorry Sam." Sam responds with "Yes sir." It's the look on Jack's face that caught my attention, he so wants to say more, offer more comfort but he can't. I think the use of her given name, instead of her rank or Carter was his attempt to offer that little bit extra. Explanation over with, on with the drabble. Enjoy.**

* * *

 **Got a wish, got a wish that I,**

 **Can just get back to where we came.**

 **God I miss, God I miss you now,**

 **And I can't even say your name."**

 **"While We're Young" by Marianas Trench.**

* * *

Taking the pictures in his hand, he looked at the first one carefully. They had all so seemed so young back then, who was he kidding they were all young back then expect him. Even back then the unique bond they shared as a team was obvious in the way they all stood. Daniel on the left of the picture looking as geeky as ever with his glasses and long hair. On the right of the picture Teal'c stood tall and proud, the sun making the gold of his Apophis emblem stand out. In the middle of the picture stood Major Carter and himself. Teal'c had his arm around his shoulder while Daniel had his around Carter who was next to him. As for himself and the Major, they had their arms around each other's waists. It was a very relaxed and intimate pose even for them, especially given the fact the sparks of more than just friendship had already started to show. Yet they were a team, a band of people brought together through the power of facing life and death together. They were more than just teammates, they were a family.

The second picture was taken nearly eight years after the first, stood in the exact same spot as the first. The four people in the picture were the same people yet looked so different. Gone were the combat gear and flak jackets. The P-90's and zat guns no longer constant companions, passed on to the next generation of fighters. Teal'c and Daniel stood in their smart black suits, both wearing matching smiles as they stood beside their friends. Colonel Carter as she was now and himself stood side by side again, their arms still around each other's waist. He stood in his dress blues, his jacket pulled tight at his waist where Carter's hand held tight to the material. She stood in that amazing white dress that he had literally drooled over when he saw her in it.

Now looking at the pictures he saw how far they had come in the past ten years. So far, yet still so far to go. Teal'c was away somewhere with the new free Jaffa nation doing whatever he did. Daniel was digging up something somewhere with some archeological expedition. He was sat at the cabin, his retirement was not going quite as he had hoped. And she, she was off somewhere facing God knows what in some star system far away on a ship she had helped design and build. His Carter, his colonel, his wife, Samantha Carter-O'Neill, out there facing dangers he had no idea of. She would always be Carter, at home and in his head he still called her that sometimes. Yet home was the only place he allowed himself to call her Sam or Samantha. It was the only place he let himself call her by her given name, a name he only used as her husband.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN- Another little update, just a short one this time. As always please enjoy.**

* * *

 **"I do this from time to time, where I can never wake from a bad** **dream.**

 **I do this from time to time, where I can never say the things I mean.**

 **I do this from time to time, where I like to watch you as you sleep.**

 **I do this from time to time, where I like to think of you with me."**

 **"Sirens" By Angels And Airwaves.**

* * *

They both had them at some point during the night. Sometimes, they would remember them, in other cases not. At times, they would wake the other up with the restlessness, the tossing and turning that the other could not ignore. In some cases, they dreamt the same thing, the torture, the cells, the endless pain. On other nights, they had their own misery to face, death and loneliness. It was the same but different for them both. They took comfort in the other's arms, the sound of the others beating heart calming and soothing them.

It was his turn to wake in a sweat, her latest capture and torture bring out his nightmare. Sitting up, he peeled off his dripping t-shirt and rubbed it over his face, tossing the soaked item to the floor when he was done. Turning back to the other occupant of the bed he watched as her chest rose and fell, her hair covering part of her face as she slept. She had done so much in her life that had either brought her pain or ended in pain. All done in the name of keeping the world safe. Turing on his side to face her, he used one of his hand to support his head. Reaching over, he moved the few strands away that were covering her eye. He could make out the dark circles under her eyes even in the limited light shining in from outside. She looked so peaceful when she slept, the worry and concentration lines gone from her beautiful face. He knew they both took turns watching the other as they slept, it was a part of who they were, as part of a team, as individuals, and of course, as a couple. He could watch her forever like this, safe and sound beside him.

Looking at the bedside clock he saw it was a little before dawn, going back to sleep would be a good idea but he doubted he would. Moving closer to her, he dropped his arm over her waist and rested his head next to hers on the pillow. Spooning up beside her he snuggled in and placed a kiss on her shoulder, hearing her sigh as he rested his lips on her bare skin. At least, she had slept through the night, even if the cause of his nightmare and waking had been her. She was safe for another night.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN- This is a little, tiny bit sad. I have fallen a little behind updating and keeping on top of theses. I will get back on track soon I promise.**

* * *

 **"Maybe it's all for the best,**

 **But I don't see any good in this, no.**

 **Maybe we'll find something better**

 **But the lovers that leave us,**

 **Will always hold a place."**

 **"Between You And I" by Every Avenue.**

* * *

"Get a life." She heard him say so many times.

Now she had one she wasn't sure she wanted one. Yes, she had something to do other than work but it wasn't as much fun as she had hoped it would be. It was nice at first, the not so empty house and romantic meals. The problem was when the ring appeared, did she really want the ring at all. Once upon a time, she wanted a ring, the white dress and the two point four kids but now, now things were different. She wasn't the same person she was back then. When she showed him the ring he didn't seem to care, didn't seem to realise if she put it on there would be no turning back.

He had said she should get a life, probably in the hope if she moved on he would too. Now he had seen the repercussions of that decision he wasn't sure why he had suggested it. Yes, he supposed he had moved on in a way too. It wasn't anything serious but it was fun. Yet seeing that ring in her hand he wasn't sure if he wanted any of this now. He supposed it was a good thing she had someone to go home to, and who wouldn't want to marry her? Hell if things had been different he would jump at the chance. Yet things weren't, and now he had to let go of the fact she would never be his. He would never have his happy ever after but, at least, he took some comfort in the fact she might.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN- Another little one but again, an ouch update. Since this is just tiny I may see about adding another chapter since I love you guys and girls so much. Hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

 **"I can't seem to find the words,**

 **To remedy how bad this hurts.**

 **When you're staring down a loaded gun.**

 **Can anyone fall back on love."**

 **"Speak Soft" by As It Is.**

* * *

Would this ever end? Would the pain ever go away.? Would he ever be the same again? After the ninth or tenth time he had remembered why he was there, yet he knew he could never tell, never divulge the information. He had to try and not only save himself but save the information he had. It was touch and go on a couple of occasions, his will power wavering in the face of so much pain. No matter what he knew to be true or what he had been told he would not give up. They were going to find him and bring him home.

She would find him, she would not give up on him. He needed her, and he hoped she needed him just as much. She was a national treasure he could not live without, would not live without. He would hang on for her, make it back just to see them sapphire eyes shining down on him. He would make it back to see that million mega watt smile he swore she only reserved for him when they were alone. He would get back to her just to hear her laugh at one of his pointless jokes. She was his reason to hang on, she was the reason he got out of bed for the past six years. He would not give up, not when he knew that he loved her and she had once said she loved him too, if not in so many words.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN- As promised, a double update. Happy reading.**

* * *

 **"I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't**

 **Let go of what's in front of me here.**

 **I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up,**

 **Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream."**

 **"The Only Exception" by Paramore.**

* * *

Looking at the small boy in front of him he knew deep down he couldn't be real. Yet as he reached out and took the hand the boy offered him, there was no denying he felt real. Grasping the small hand a little tighter, he was surprised the boy smiled at him and spoke.

"I'm real, I won't disappear just yet. I thought I could fix things but I can't. I can't make the emptiness go away." The small boy said as he looked up at the man who he knew so well but hardly knew at all.

"It's okay, we need to get you home. You won't last much longer if we keep you here." Leading the child by the hand through the hospital.

Passing his team he stayed quiet as he walked towards his wife. Seeing the look of shock and horror on her face didn't surprise him, it probably mirrored his own. Watching her as she said goodbye for a second time to the boy was even more heartbreaking than the first. After a quick goodbye, he ushered them quickly to the waiting car.

After quick briefings and talking, they both stood looking at the giant dial as it spun, within seconds the blue puddle appearing and home calling them. Stepping through on the other side he watched as a smile spread across the boys face, he was home and he was communicating with the last of his kind.

"I have to go now, it is time." Looking up at the man who towered above him.

"I know, it's just so hard to let go." Feeling tears spring at the corner of his eyes.

"Do not forget what I said," using the man's hand to bring him down to eye level. "He will always be with you in here." Resting his small hand over the man's heart.

"I know that, but it doesn't make it any easier. Thank you for trying to put things right, even if you couldn't." Looking at the child one last time before he stood up and stepped back.

Smiling one last time he watched as the form of the child disappeared and was replaced by a wave of light and energy. He saw the energy shift and blend with one of the crystals on the ground before he turned and walked back to the gate. Stepping back through, his boots resonated against the metal as he looked down and saw his team standing waiting for him. They all looked at him before she stepped forward and spoke.

"Let's go home, Sir."


	11. Chapter 11

**AN- Little early update to start the day, enjoy.**

* * *

 **"I can't say that I love you, I can't say that I don't.**

 **I can't say that I couldn't, and I won't say that I won't.**

 **But I really like your company, I'm enjoying myself no end,**

 **But I can't keep from thinking…."**

 **"Share The Darkness" by The Saw Doctors.**

* * *

Sitting with a sticky piece of cheese pizza in her hand she looked at the men sat around her. To her right sat on the floor was Daniel, melted pizza cheese dripping down his chin. She couldn't help but smile at the sight, he was the brother she always wished Mark had been. He was a geek and workaholic just like her, probably part of the reason they got on so well. Yet he was also fiercely loyal, protective and had an infectious laugh. When she first meet him they clicked instantly, their thirst for knowledge bringing them together. She had watched him suffer when he lost his wife, die a couple of times and even come back to live. He was indeed a unique friend.

Sitting on a chair to her right was Teal'c, his huge frame filling it completely. Most people saw Teal'c and were immediately intimidated by his size. Yet over the years, she had got to know another side of the man. Yes, he was first and foremost a warrior, a true leader among his people, and a symbol of hope. But he was so much more than that. He was a husband, a father, a companion, a guide, a mentor, but most of all he was her friend. She knew if she ever needed him he would be there, to watch her back or protect her if needed. Even just a shoulder to cry on when she needed a release. Teal'c was also like a brother to her, a big overprotective brother but a brother all the same.

Finally was the man sat next to her, his knee resting up against hers as they sat side by side. At first, she saw him as a chauvinistic pig, his attitude towards her an attempt at intimidation. Yet even then there was something about him, something she couldn't help but like, especially when she watched him being brought down a peg or two. Over time, they had grown close, shared more than any two people should ever have to share in their lifetime. Injury, capture, torture and death on several occasions had brought about a unique bond forged out of long days and even longer nights. There friendly banter and joking turning to flirting and fleeting touches. They had become so much more than CO and second.

A sudden movement jerked her from her train of thought. Daniel and Teal'c were both standing up getting ready to leave, Teal'c wanting to get back to meditate. As she wished them both a good night she sat back down and watched as the three men made their way to the door, only one returning. As he sat down he moved so he was flush against her side. They sat in silence till he moved his arm across her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. She melted against him, his body warm and his arms a safe haven. She needed his touch if only for a short time.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN- Nice fluffy one for a change since I have made Jack suffer in a few.**

* * *

 **"Framed pictures start to be put on the wall,**

 **Constant visits while I'm out on the road.**

 **It's hard to leave sometimes,**

 **But you know where I lay my head at night."**

 **"I Don't Wanna Know" by New Found Glory.**

* * *

Stepping through the front door, she glanced around and realised she was alone. She hadn't expected anyone to be there, she wasn't due back for a couple of hours at least. Dropping her keys on the hall table she carried her bag straight to the laundry room, it was easier than bringing armfuls of clothes. After depositing the bag, she went back into the house and headed to her bedroom. Pushing the door open she paused and drank in the sight before her. The sun shone through the blinds and light flooded the room, spilling over the huge bed and dresser. Her favourite throw was on the bed, it's multi colours standing out in the sun. All her makeup and jewellery still lay scattered across the dresser from where she left it.

Stepping up to the bed she sat down and bent over to undo her boots. Tucking them under the bed when they were off, she stood up and pulled the zipper down on the flight suit. Peeling it off her body she threw it to one side, it could join the washing later. Pulling open the wardrobe door she looked inside and debated what to wear, her eyes scanning all the clothes hanging there. Finally settling on a hoodie and sweatpants, she threw them on the bed before going to freshen up.

Once she was washed and ready she went straight to the refrigerator and opened it to find a full pack of diet soda, smiling as she took a can. One of the boys must have dropped them off. Taking one, she took a glass from the cupboard and poured the drink into the glass. Dropping the empty can in the trash she made her why to the lounge and sat on the couch, before stretching out with her head at one end and feet at the other. Taking a drink of the soda, she rested the glass on the table and let her eyes drift from wall to wall, picture frame to picture frame.

The pictures spanned her life, from childhood to the last time she was on earth. The earliest was of her mother holding a baby swaddled in blankets, a tuft of blond hair sticking out the top. The next was of her father and a small girl wearing an Air Force cap far too big for them. Next came a small girl and boy, obviously brother and sister. Moving around the walls, she saw pictures from school and her early career in the Air Force. The last pictures she came to were of her time with the Stargate program and SG-1. Daniel, Teal'c and O'Neill prominent in quite a few. There was one of the new SG-1 with Cam, Vala and Daniel in it. The last picture was her wedding picture, Jack and herself smiling as they gazed at each other. It was coming home to this that made her time away aboard the Hammond worthwhile.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN- Another happy one for you all.**

* * *

 **"All in all, it's the perfect scene,**

 **And there's not anywhere that I would rather be,**

 **And it's now, now or never when we're chasing our dreams,**

 **And oh, it's getting close now don't turn away."**

 **"The Perfect Scene" by Mercy Mercedes.**

* * *

Lying on her front facing the cabin, she had a great view of the man standing over the grill. Using her arms as a pillow, she rested her chin on the back of her hands and looked up towards him. She could just make out his cream shorts and well-defined legs under the grill, all the years of chasing bad guys and running for their lives showing in his firm calf muscles. His pale blue shirt was open to mid chest showing a very generous amount of greying chest hair. She couldn't see his eyes behind his customary big round shades that normally hung around his neck. His hair was now mostly grey, only the odd stand still had a trace of brown in it.

As she watched him cover the meat he was burning in even more beer, she saw Daniel out the corner of her eye moving around the table laying out plates and bottles of beer. Teal'c appeared by his side carrying a huge salad bowl and another bowl of something she couldn't make out. She was so engrossed watching Daniel and Teal'c she didn't feel his gaze rest on her for a couple of seconds. When she looked at him her blue eyes meet his brown, his shades having been lifted, and a smile instantly spreading across both their faces. She watched as he continued to prod at the meat as he continued to stare at her, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Sam, it's ready," Daniel called down to her as she pushed herself off the deck and stood up.

Bending down, she wrapped the towel around her waist which at least gave her a little bit of modesty. Walking up to the table she sat down and looked down at the overly burnt piece of meat and then at the man sat next to her. He never spoke but smiled at her as he picked up the salad tongs and proceeded to heap salad on both his own plate and hers. As they sat eating they talked and joked about things went by, but also of what was to come. Even though she heard him join the conversation she felt his eyes hardly left her body. Every once in awhile their arms would brush at they ate, his knee resting against hers under the table.

When they finished eating Daniel and Teal'c offered to wash up saying something about doing it sooner rather than later. The table was cleared in record time leaving Sam and Jack alone.

"Let's take a walk," offering her his hand as he stood up.

Taking the offered hand, she let herself be led onto the decking where the bedroom was, all the time his hand never leaving hers. Finding herself sat on a small love seat she had no desire to move away, instead moving closer till both his arms were around her and her head was on his chest. They were finally together as a couple, now and always.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN- Tissues at the ready, even I cried writing this one. It's been a long time since I did that when I wrote something so that gives a clue to how it's going to play out.**

* * *

 **"As leaves fell from the trees,**

 **She became a memory.**

 **To a man who lost everything.**

 **Forever doesn't mean anything,**

 **It's just a promise that we make."**

 **"Sleepless In Seattle." by The Strive.**

* * *

Stepping up to the bed he looked down at the woman who lay covered by the blankets. She looked pale and her eyes didn't have their normal sparkle. He knew deep down this day was coming, his happiness was never meant to last. It was a universal constant, he was either dead of she was in the other realities, why should this one be any different.

"Hey you, you look a little better today." He smiled down at her when she opened her eyes and turned to him.

"Jack O'Neill, you're a rubbish liar but thanks for trying." Taking his hand and trying to squeeze his fingers without much success.

Just then the doctor stepped up to the bed and looked between her two most frequent patients. They didn't deserve this, neither of them. They had fought too hard and too long just to have it all snatched away by a chemical toxic. All of SG-1 had been affected, yet Cam, Daniel and Vala had all recovered with treatment. Sam was different, her body rejected the treatment the others had and all others had failed. No matter what they pumped into her it was no good. They had contact their allies but without success. The Tok'ra had said a symbiont would work but they were none available. Even if they did it was probably wouldn't arrive in time, hell it wouldn't arrive in time.

"Sam, how would you like to go home?" The doctor asked as she locked eyes with Sam and told her all she needed to without speaking.

"Why not, least I will be home when I," but didn't finish the sentence when she felt Jack's vice grip on her hand.

"I will arrange everything, give me half an hour and you can be on your way. Sir, you may want to make them calls now." Carolyn suggested as she looked at the sad eyes of the man opposite her.

Jack just nodded his head and looked at Sam. Watching the doc walk away he looked around the room before looking back at Sam.

"Let's go home, beds all made and we have ice cream." Jack choked out as he let go of Sam's hand and reached for the bag of clothes under her bed.

After helping her dress and into a wheelchair, he turned and found a row of blue as far as he could see. Men and women lined the corridor to the elevator all standing at attention. Moving slowly towards the elevator Sam smiled at each person, her final goodbye to them before leaving. The ride home was silent, Sam sat in the back with Daniel and Teal'c. Arriving at home Jack carried into the house and to bed, the boys as her honour guard. Daniel said goodbye first, Teal'c next. Jack lay down beside her and kissed her lips, pulling her close as she settled against him and gave up fighting. Her last breath ghosting his cheek as she left him for the last time.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN- Back to sweet and happy again, my favorite ones.**

* * *

" **Here's my chance for a new beginning,**

 **I save the best for a better ending.**

 **And in the end, I'll make it up to you, you'll see,**

 **You'll get the very best of me."**

" **One Day Too Late." by Skillet.**

* * *

Jack looked at the woman curled up beside him. She was still asleep and he was happy to leave her that way. Her long blond hair splayed out on the pillow and covered part of her face. Moving the hair so he could see her, he smiled as she wrinkled her nose as a strand brushed across it. Stilling his movements he waited to make sure she stayed asleep. When he was sure she wasn't going to wake, he propped his head up on his hand and looked down at her. It still amazed him that she was there, that she was in his bed and, more importantly, she was his.

As the sun started to rise on the horizon it crept in through the thin drapes covering the window. The light covered Sam and she scrunched her eyes shut further, shifting a little then turning over to face him. He couldn't help but be mesmerised by how beautiful she looked. Her face was relaxed in slumber, the dark circles slowly starting to fade from under her eyes. It was very rare, if ever, he had seen her looking so at ease. Out in the field or any time he had seen her asleep she was always on edge, just a sound or movement away from waking. He knew that was the soldier in her, her training keeping her alert.

He had no idea how long he had been watching her when she moved and snuggled into his chest, her legs wrapping around his. Instinctively he lay down and pulled her close, lying on his back as she moved with him and rested her head above his heart. It was something they both used a sign of confirmation the other was real and alive, but also a gesture of love. A gesture Jack was happy to indulge in, especially when his head was resting on her naked breast.

Moving his fingertips over her bare shoulder, he got lost in the feel of her silky skin. Instead of being porcelain white it now had colour due to exposure to the sunshine. Her freckles stood out more and he couldn't resist placing a kiss on her head as his finger traced the small spots on her arm. He would never tire of being able to do this. He had just closed his eyes when he felt her shift and move her head. Opening his eyes, he was greeted with a very sleepy looking Sam, her blue eyes gritty with sleep yet still dazzling.

"Morning," She mumbled as she reached up and rubbed her eyes.

"Morning, sleep well?" Placing a kiss on her forehead now, she had moved.

"I did thanks." Shifting so she was leaning slightly over him.

Running her finger down his cheek and along his jaw she leant in and kissed him, lips locking and tongues duelling as he returned it. Breaking apart, she pulled back and smiled at Jack. This was their new beginning, their little piece of perfect.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN- Okay, little shake up here. This is actually from day 23 of the drabble collection but a lovely lady by the name of Mel was looking for a Sam/Jack established story where they argue, then, of course, they have to kiss and make up. I am thinking of making this longer as an actual story, so let me all know what you think and if you would like a longer version of this.**

* * *

 **"Take all of your doubts, you can throw 'em out, you may be unsure but I know,**

 **I'm always coming back, you can bet on that, you're the only place I call home.**

 **Near or far, where you are is where I wanna be.**  
 **Every lonely night, every drunken fight, couldn't make it right I know.**  
 **If it hurts you bad, put it on my tab, I can pay it back tenfold,**  
 **You're the only place I've ever called my home.**

 **"Only Place I call Home." by - Every Avenue.**

* * *

Looking at the clock, she knew he wasn't coming back. Yet another mission and she had nearly been killed, yet made it home somehow. She had to tell him the full story, how her decision to sacrifice herself to save the others was the only way to get the others home. The others hadn't liked it but went with it anyway as they didn't have any other options. When they arrived home he had gone straight to get a beer before sitting out back. She had left him there, she needed to get washed and changed before she did anything.

After she was washed dressed, she grabbed a beer before joining him on the deck.

"It was too close again." She heard him say as he let out a long slow breath.

"I know, but there were no other choices, it was either them or me." Not looking at him when she spoke.

"Well maybe if you had of stuck together you wouldn't have been put in that position in the first place." Taking a swig of his beer before turning to look at her.

"Yes, well. We can sit here all night and debate what did and didn't do wrong, won't change anything. We all got out in the end." Getting up and stepping up the rail that ran along the decking.

"What about next time?" Knowing he was provoking her but his own anger and sense of fear clouding his judgment.

"Damn straight. I will die to protect them, you would too. I am not going to stand here and say I won't risk my life for them. There my friends, hell there more than that their family. What's done is done and I will not second guess myself, not now, not ever. I nearly died to save the others but didn't, end of story. Let's drop it, I am too tired for this crap." Turning around and slamming her bottle on the decking table before storming away.

He was mad as hell with her. She had taken what she thought was a worthwhile risk to save the others and nearly died. Why couldn't she see why he was mad, he had nearly lost her again. Putting his now empty bottle down, he went and climbed in the car, driving off without a second thought for where he was going.

When he arrived home the house was in darkness. Walking to the bathroom, he stripped off and stepped into the bedroom, looking at the curled up form on the bed. Climbing on the bed behind her he pulled her flush to him.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want to lose you. I love you." Kissing her hair.

"I'm sorry too, but you understand, don't you?" Turning to face him.

"Yes, doesn't make it any less scary, though. We will deal with this as we always do, together." Pulling her closer as he kissed her head.

She was safe and home where she belonged, in his arms.


	17. Chapter 17

**"There was a time you'd scream my name,** **it used to be my getaway.**

 **Now all we do is complain, maybe I'm the one to blame.**

 **But the damage is done and it's obvious, we can never go back to the way it was.**

 **We're drifting apart and it's killing us, it's killing us."**

 **"Farewell." by- Simple Plan ft Jordan Pundik.**

* * *

As Jack sat alone in his darkened quarters, he wasn't sure if he wanted to scream at the injustice of things. They never had a chance, and would never now get one. Anise and her damn armbands had shot it all to hell. He wasn't sure what made his blood boil the most, the fact that they had to confess to feelings they both knew they had, or that the woman had made a pass at him.

Even now, a few weeks later things were still wrong. There were times when he wanted to go blow the roof of that room and tell the world he loved Sam Carter. Then there were other days when he wanted to do nothing but curl up in said room and lock the door behind him. At least, if he was in the room he knew the score, knew how they both felt.

Pulling out his wallet he flicked it open and looked at the only two pictures he had tucked behind the clear window. One was of Charlie, a baseball mitt on one hand, ball in the other. He was so happy playing ball, especially when he got to play it with his old dad. The other picture was a folded picture, the second person in the picture out of sight. It had been taken at some military shindig, a compulsory attendance by all officers. He had no idea who took the picture, only that he was thankful he had been passed it.

Sam looked dazzling in her ball gown, he was pleased it was a gown event for the women and not dress blues. He had never felt so good as he escorted her around the room, her arm casually draped over his. It was a memory he would treasure all his days, more so now. It was the one time they got to act half normal, a woman happily being escorted by a man. Now it was gone, one stupid mission blowing it all to hell.


	18. Chapter 18

**"This is not what I intended,**

 **I always swore to you I'd never fall apart.**

 **You always thought that I was stronger,**

 **I may have failed but I have loved you from the start."**

 **"Fall For You." by Secondhand Serenade.**

* * *

When he heard the knock on his door he was tempted to tell whoever it was to go away. He did not want to make nice with anyone.

"Come in." He called out, watching the door open and his visitor step inside.

Looking up, he saw who his visitor was and wasn't at all bothered when he saw it was Carter. Standing up from the bed as he rolled his t-shirt over the dressings covering his torso they chatted about everything but the reason she was there. It wasn't until he asked if she was speaking at the memorial did she start to crack. Shrugging his shirt on he stepped up to her and stopped a few feet away.

"Sir, I just wanted to say. When you were lying there," she started to say as the tears gathered in the corner of her eyes. She paused to try to compose herself before continuing, "I'm really glad you're okay."

As soon as she finished speaking her walls crumbled, her emotions winning out again. Jack stood and watched the raging emotional battle going on the face of the woman stood just out of reach. His heart broke for her, she had lost not only a colleague but her best friend. When she had said that she was glad he was okay he picked up on the hidden meaning in the words. When she finally locked eyes with him he lost his own battle.

"C'mere." Lifting his arms as he spoke the word that held so much meaning for them both.

Sam heard him say their special word and moved into the comfort of his embrace, his arms going around her and pulling her close. As she settled against him she was mindful of his torso, her arms going around his back and neck. They held each other as tight as his injuries let them, her chin resting on his shoulder as his face found the crook of her neck. He held her as she cried, making small soothing circular patterns on her back. In all honesty, he had wanted to do this since he first saw her face when Daniel broke the news to her about Janet. All he could do was watch as she left the infirmary with tears streaming down her face. She was devastated and hurting and he couldn't move after being stuck back together.

He had no idea how long they stood holding each other, her tears slowly drying up. Neither in a hurry to let go, both too caught up in the feelings holding the other brought them. Finally, it was Jack who moved, but only enough to see her face.

"Let's go home." Kissing her forehead as he spoke. "We can get pizza and beer on the way to my place. If we pass Daniel and Teal'c on the way out they can tag along." Feeling her nod her head against his lips that were still resting on her forehead.

"Let's go home." She agreed before moving away.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN- Weekly update, enjoy.**

* * *

 **"We'll turn the lights back on and straighten up the room,**  
 **I'm buttoning my shirt, I watch you as you fix your hair.**  
 **We'll stumble downstairs content on what has just occurred, never feeling awkward.**  
 **But you know, I don't have to tell you,**  
 **It was never about that, never about that**."

 **"Tequila Moonlight." by- Self Against City.**

* * *

I can't believe we just did that." Calling over her shoulder as she tried to get the zipper on her dress to go back up.

"You need a hand with that?" Stepping up behind her, his shirt half buttoned up.

"You did undo it so it seems fair you get it back up." Lifting her long hair out the way so he could do it up.

When he had pulled the zip up she let go of her hair and it fell around her shoulders, the curls not looking as good as they had a few hours ago. Giving it a flick here and there she gave up, after what they had just done she was surprised it wasn't sticking up in every direction. Turning around she saw that at least his shirt was now done up and tucked in, his jacket was back on and he was doing his tie back up. Waiting till he was finished doing his tie she stepped up to him and pulled it straight, putting his shirt collar right before doing up the big chunky buttons on his jacket. When she was satisfied he looked presentable she stepped back and looked him over from head to toe.

"All ready?" Stepping back up to him and placing a hand on each shoulder.

"All done, you got everything?" Placing his hands on her hips as he leaned down and brought his face very close to hers.

"Other than my dignity, I have everything. I have to say this is going down in history as the most interesting and unusual place we did this." Moving one of her hands to play with the short hair at his nape.

"This is the best places we have done this. Here was me thinking this would be another boring military get together." Closing the gap between them and kissing her passionately.

The kissed only ended when they both ran out of air. Keeping her hands on his shoulders, she rested her head against his chest, mindful of the cluster of medals. When they both had their breathing back under control they stepped apart and gave each other the once over. Both satisfied they were presentable, they left the bedroom and headed back to the party.

As they circled the room they were stopped in their tracks when they heard their names called. They both stopped and turned to find the president smiling at them. There was no escaping the president.

"There you are, I was looking for you both earlier but couldn't seem to find you." The president smirked as he took in the appearance of the two officers in front of him. "It's okay, your secrets safe with me Jack. I remember all too well what it's like to have a hormonal pregnant wife." Leaning closer so only the three of them heard.

Sam went bright red and Jack choked on air. Caught by the president having sex in the White House was definitely one for the books.


	20. Chapter 20

**Still keeping up with the weekly updates, yay me.**

* * *

 **"And all the kids names I've ever liked,**  
 **Are tied to tragedy.**  
 **And I don't want my children growing up to be,**  
 **Anything like me."**

 **"Passing Through The Screen Door." by - The Wonder Years.**

* * *

As Jack sat and looked at the tiny baby in his arms he was blown away with how much love he felt for something so small. Yes, he had done this before, but it was so long ago since he first held Charlie. Looking up at his wife who lay sleeping in the bed, the smile on his face grew even more if that was at all possible. For someone who hadn't long since given birth, she looked as beautiful as ever. Her hair was still tied in a loose ponytail, hastily done to keep it out the way when she finally needed to push. The makeup that had been applied earlier that day was now all gone, sweat, wet wipes and tears washing it away.

He was so lost in admiring his wife he hadn't realised that the baby was awake. It was only when he moved did Jack look down. Two bright blue eyes stared back at him, an exact copy of his wife's. He hoped they would stay blue, he could never say no to them eyes. As the baby moved a tuft of brown hair became visible, the same colour as his had been once. Now his was more grey but he wasn't as concerned anymore. Moving the blanket aside he held out his finger and his son grasped it tightly.

"Hey little guy, we still need to give you a name. I know what Mommy wants to call you but it's not gonna happen. You may be an O'Neill but you need a name unique to you, not one passed down from your old man. I still like Jacob, we need to work on mommy to get her to agree." Smiling at his son as he stroked his cheek.

"We will see about that one Jack O'Neill." He heard Sam say as he looked up and saw her smile as she looked at them both.

"Hey, didn't know you were awake. We were just having a man to man chat. On saying that I think this one is done chatting." Looking down as his son started to fidget, his mouth opening and closing as he rooted around for dinner.

Standing up he stood and waited till Sam was ready before passing her the baby. After a little moving around the baby finally found what he was looking and latched on to Sam's breast, Sam wincing as he sucked hard. Jack winced when he saw Sam wince, that had got to be a strange feeling indeed. Sitting on the bed beside Sam he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she settled against his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

"He still needs a name, any suggestions other than Jack or Jonathan?" Jack said as he watched Sam watching the baby as he feed.

"You really want to name him Jacob don't you?" Looking between her husband and son.

Jack just nodded his head.

"Fine, welcome to the world Jacob Carter-O'Neill." Kissing her son's head.


	21. Chapter 21

**"I could have given up a thousand time, in the past, it was so easy.**

 **When the thought came to my mind, there was no convincing me.**

 **Plant me feet to face it all, side-by-side or a phone call.**

 **Living in tension with you** **still feels better, better than I've ever known."**

 **"Vicious Love." by - New Found Glory.**

* * *

If you love someone enough let them go, if they love you enough they would come back. It was a crap cliché and it sucked more than he ever thought possible. As she passed him the small box his heart dropped through the floor faster than an a sinking ship. He was tempted not to open it, pass her it back and ask her not to do it. Yet he knew he couldn't, wouldn't, ruin her chance of happiness. She was happy, or at least, she acted happy if whistling was anything to go by. His happiness was not important in the grand scheme of things.

Flicking the box open he looked up and into her sapphire blue eyes. Eyes he would never get sick of look at, ones he could easily lose himself in. When he pointed out that most people wore them on their finger he was relieved when she said she hadn't said yes yet. Even though there was no hope for him, for them, he was still hopeful she would say no to this shrub and they could go back to the way they were.

They both knew they could never be more than they were. He was still her CO, she was still his 2IC. Even if she was only his 2IC she would still be by his side. He would rather have that than nothing. Closing the box he held it out for her to take, their fingers brushing against each other as she took it back. He wondered how it would feel to see that ring on her finger if she put it on? Could he still stay impartial when she belonged to someone else? Deep down he knew he didn't want to find out, didn't want to think that his Sam belonged to another man.

His Sam, she would never be his Sam, she had never been his Sam. Their love was forbidden, never to find its wings and fly high. He gave her one last look as she looked at the box in her hand before turning and walking away. He was walking away from the woman he loved, yet he was doing it for her. That's what he would keep telling himself.


	22. Chapter 22

**"Take care of yourself but,**

 **You're nothing but trouble.**

 **Just the damage of thought,**

 **You'll never recover from.**

 **How you love,**

 **A world you're only dreaming of."**

 **"You, The Room & The Devil on your Shoulder."- by As It Is.**

* * *

Jack looked at the man who had once been Sam's fiancé. No matter how he looked at him he didn't get it. He kept looking and all he saw was someone who was the complete opposite of what Sam was. How she had seen anything in Jonas Hanson was just beyond him. He was so deluded and arrogant and so many other things Jack couldn't even begin to comprehend.

Walking beside Sam he asked her without prying too much, it was her personal life after all. She had told him that to start with Jonas was perfect, yet things changed with time. The more she thought back the more it didn't surprise her he had been led down the path they now found him on. Jack could see Sam was struggling with everything so he tried to lighten things up as he always did. When he asked if she found herself attracted to the lunatic fringe he wasn't sure how to take the look she shot him. Maybe he didn't want to know, for both their sakes.

Telling Jack that Jonas had always been a problem, he had demons he couldn't and wouldn't share. When it finally came to the crunch she had made her choice, Jonas was something that had to be removed. Yet when the time came she couldn't do it, he had won again.

It was Jack that finally ended it, killing Jonas before he killed them all. It wasn't Jonas that Jack was concerned about, it was Sam. She told him she had the chance to end it but couldn't. Jack said he understood, it was all he could say. His main concern was the planet and its people safety, as well as his own team which included Sam. She needed time to get over what had happened, what she had seen and done in regards to her ex-fiancé. He would give her it, but told her he would be there when she was ready.


	23. Chapter 23

**"I like her 'cause she's smart, headstrong, and independent.**

 **She puts me in place, but I don't know where I stand.**

 **And if only I could find the words or muster up the nerve to tell her,**

 **I'll never forget her and she'll always have a part of me."**

 **"A Part Of Me." by Neck Deep.**

* * *

As he watched her hop on her bike and drive away from the mountain he just stood there. It was over, the Gou'ld were now gone. She was free in a manner of speaking and so was he. He had heard rumours of her going to Atlantis, or even commanding a ship but nothing was in stone. He wasn't sure if he should follow her and just get it over with or wait for her to make the first move. On saying that, how did you go about making the first move after all these years? Dinner, dancing and small talk we so overrated when you had seen the other person dead, dying, beaten and nearly naked. He needed a new approach, something that fitted with who she was.

Sitting on his couch watching the Simpsons his mind raced. How did you ask out someone who was so out of your league but you couldn't live without? He contemplated a big long speech, maybe with some geeky, nerdy stuff in it then promptly changed his mind. Maybe a song or a poem would work? His mind went through the big hearts and flowers gesture, dinner and dancing even came back up but nothing seems right. He fell asleep with images of her dancing around his head and thoughts of how or if he, would ever tell her how he felt.

Next morning he woke early and the idea hit him like a thunderbolt. After getting washed and ready he went into town and found what he was looking for almost instantly. Driving to her house, he parked up the street where he could see her front door but she wouldn't be able to see him. Getting out the truck he walked quickly and quietly to her door and placed the small bag on the step, knocking on the door and making a mad dash for it.

He had just got out of sight when she opened the door. When she saw no one stand she was about to shut the door when the bag on the porch caught her eye. Picking it up she opened it and pulled out the small box. Looking around again to see if anyone was around before flicking the box open. She was shocked when she saw the contents of the box and looked around again for whoever had dropped it off.

Taking out the silver ring she twisted it around in her fingers. As she twisted it, the light from behind her caught the inside and a word stood out. Turning slightly to see better her breath caught in her throat when she read the inscription.

"Always."

Looking around for the black truck, she was disappointed when she couldn't see it. She had a feeling he was still close by so after removing her tags she slid the ring on the chain and did the chain back up. She had part of him with her always. Now she just needed the man himself.


	24. Chapter 24

**AN- A little late but got there in the end. sorry for keeping you waiting.**

* * *

 **"But when I looked at her,**

 **I thought of only you.**

 **If only there was proof,**

 **I could use to show it's true."**

 **"Crash." by - You Me At Six.**

* * *

As he looked at the woman in the bed beside him he wasn't sure how it had got this far. One drink had led to a meal which, after many more drinks and meals had got to the woman sleeping in his bed beside him. It wasn't the first time, and if things didn't change it wouldn't be the last time.

As he looked out the window towards the star-studded sky he contemplated why he had let things get to the point where he was like a machine, bent on acting happy. Yes, he liked the woman who was asleep beside him but he didn't love her, he probably never would. They had fun together and he definitely wasn't going to complain about the sex, yet there was something missing. He watched as the stars in the sky twinkled and his mind drifted to something else that sparkled and twinkled.

Her eyes were sapphire blue, especially when she gave him that smile that made him tingle from his toes right to the tips of his silvering hair. Getting her to smile like that at least once a day was his mission, he needed to see her happy and he knew when she smiled like that she was.

Rolling on his side he was greeted with a mass of dark curly hair in his face. Pulling back a little he shifted the last few stands that were tickling his nose. Before he let go of the strands of hair he ran his forefinger and thumb over them. A very light smell of coconut drifted past his nose as he felt the curly hair drop from his fingers.

He liked women with long hair, he had dated a few yet for some reason short hair seemed to be what attracted him most. Sara had short hair when they were married, short and dark. Another woman with short hair came back to his mind. Short military style blonde hair that looked like a halo when the sun hit it. Hair that smelt of strawberries and looked silky smooth. He had spent many a night looking at that hair in the darkness when they slept off-world.

The woman next to him shifted and rolled over in her sleep, draping her leg over his and sliding an arm around his waist. She cuddled in and he let her, subconsciously pulling her closer. Deep down he knew she wasn't the woman he wanted or needed, yet she was the woman he had settled for. He would never get the woman he wanted now, she had made her choice. She had picked another man to keep her bed warm at night. She gave up on them, on their future. He had no option but to do the same.


	25. Chapter 25

**"Many roads to take, some to joy some to heartache, anyone can lose their way,**

 **And if I said that we could turn it back, right back to the start.**

 **Would you take the chance and make the change.**

 **Do you think how it would have been sometimes,**

 **Do you pray that I'd never left your side."**

 **"What If." by - Kate Winslet.**

* * *

"Because I care about her…...a lot more than I'm supposed to." The words playing over and over in her head.

She could see his face as he spoke them, his eyes locked with hers even though it was tearing them both apart. After his confession they swapped places and she took her turn to answer the questions. The only difference being her wording.

"He means more to me than just being my CO." The words coming out in a near whisper.

As he stood by her side and removed the strap from across her head they locked eyes, the fear, and desperation evident on both their faces.

"It doesn't have to leave this room, sir." She blurted out, not really sure what she was supposed to say under the circumstance.

"You sure?" He asked, just as shocked and surprised at the turn of events.

"Yes, sir." The walls coming up instantly between them.

After that, things were different, both unsure where they stood with the other. They tried to deny what was there, even managed it for a short time. Yet now, when she needed him the most he was out of reach. The walls built between them stronger than before, to strong for her to catch a glimpse of what he was really thinking and feeling.

As he walked out her lab she watched his retreating form, her heart sinking so far it was sat somewhere in her toes. They were done, he was letting her go to another man. As she looked at the ring box she wondered what would have happened if the room had never been locked, if their feelings had been free to flow.

Putting the box back in her jacket pocket she wished that they had made different choices now.


	26. Chapter 26

**It hurts me to say that it hurts me to stay,**  
 **and it might be alright if you go.**  
 **It hurts me to say that I want you to stay,**  
 **but it might be alright if you go.**

 ** _"Lover Dearest" by Marianas Trench_**

* * *

When Sam showed him the ring he knew he should have said something, stepped up and told her every reason she should say no. Yet he hadn't, he had made a wisecrack then swept it under the rug. Now as Jacob mentioned she had a meeting with the florist he tried to be polite, tried to brush it off. He had said she should go, it was after all her day off.

"Go pick flowers." He had told her.

He had thought by going along with her wish to be happy he would be happy, how wrong was he! He was surprised he hadn't choked on his words as he spoke. When the room was dismissed he darted to his office to hide, to gather himself together. He was so conflicted, he wanted her so much yet he knew, deep down, this was the right choice, not just for him but her as well. Sitting looking out over the briefing room he twiddled with a pen, his hands having trouble being idle. He had told her so many times to get a life, now she had one and he still wasn't happy. This sitting around was no use, he had to suck it up and move on. If she could do it so could he. No matter how much it hurt he would let her be happy.


End file.
